Saturday, September 16, 2006

Mail Call


I've been working my way through a list of emails that I had left unattended for well over a year- and I found some pretty fun ones. Before I get to the featured item, I'd just like to say thanks for all the nice well-wishes and kind words- it's much appreciated, and I apologize for taking so long to write back. Most of the emails I get are really nice and thoughtful. And then I get some like this:

----- Original Message ----
From: kaofpm@jcn.net
To: cpt2slick@yahoo.com
Sent: Thursday, August 25, 2005 9:42:34 PM
Subject: Discovery!

Heard about mil blogs. your name came up. just what i expected. im not a lefty. im a veteran of our last big war on the dark skinned poor - in central america. you seem to be a part of the machine. a muscle fiber in the corporate bicep that is "redifining" american power in central asia. you are rewarded by your "fortune 500" job. horde those green backs captain before that corporate bicep outsources your ass and you find yourself teaching government classes at a community college.

xo our knight in shining gunship
or does 2slick refer to medivac?

Don't bother trying to send this person an email- the address is no longer valid. I tried to send him a response that went like this:

Cool. Thanks for checking out my site.

I think I'll start by telling you something that your parents probably told you a long time ago, but you just never liked to hear- people who are "anti-establishment" tend to be people who were soundly rejected by said "establishment." They're the ones who got beat up in school because they were always trying to be the center of attention- but never had any good reason to command said attention. Not typically the sharpest bulbs in the drawer- but really convinced that they were so much smarter than everyone else. Simply put- "anti-establishment" people (like you) are the ones that most "normal" people try so very hard to avoid.

Seriously, man- I'm sorry that nobody likes you or wants to hire you. Keep blaming "the man" for all your problems, and maybe your pain and suffering will begin to subside. Maybe- just maybe- the good people of the world will see how you've been wronged, and maybe everyone will line up to apologize to you. I know that would be really AWESOME for you!

Me? I'm just going to keep "redefining" American power with my corporate biceps while I step all over the poor dark-skinned people. You just sit there and think about what an awful and terrible person I am- I'm certain that will make you happy. See how thoughtful I am?

Seriously, though- you're right. You're not a lefty. You're just a run-of-the-mill fraud. A sad and pathetic loser who never got enough hugs.

Just what I expected....

P.S.: What's wrong with teaching government classes at a community college? Is teaching not an honorable profession? I happen to have a great deal of respect for teachers, and I certainly appreciate all the ones who taught me...


I love getting emails from these clowns!

1 comment:

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